When tensions at home escalated to physical confrontations, an elderly mother and her adult children found themselves in a crisis neither side knew how to solve.
When Conflict Hits Home
After the Eaton Fire in Altadena destroyed Lisa’s home, her 80-year-old mother, Jane, welcomed her and her brother John, who faces serious chronic health issues, into her house. Over time, old resentments between mother and son resurfaced. John was accustomed to living independently and struggled to adjust to a shared space. His chronic health issues prevented him from working, which added to the strain between him and his mother. Arguments grew more frequent, and Lisa, John’s caregiver, tried to keep the peace while carrying the emotional weight of the entire household.
This family’s experience illustrates why National Mediation Week, observed each October, matters. Across the country, communities celebrate mediation as a peaceful, practical way to resolve conflict and preserve relationships. In Los Angeles County, we’re highlighting real stories like this one, and celebrating moments when open communication and understanding helped turn conflict into connection.
“Mediation isn’t about winning or losing,
it’s about communicating, understanding
and choosing a better way forward together.”
A Path to Healing
Lisa’s story didn’t end there. After months of conflict, just when the family thought all hope was lost and eviction seemed like the only way out. Less than two hours before their court hearing, they agreed to try mediation. With the help of Aaron Larks-Stanford, Program Director of the Los Angeles Office of Arts Arbitration and Mediation Services (AAMS), a program of California Lawyers for the Arts, the family found a way forward. In mediation, they each had the chance to be heard without judgment. Jane acknowledged her son’s health challenges limited his ability to regain independence, while John acknowledged that the living agreement had become untenable and that he contributed to the ongoing strain in their relationship.
By participating in mediation and agreeing on a stipulation, the family was able to avoid a more difficult outcome. The son avoided a permanent eviction on his record, which would have made it difficult for him to secure housing in the future. Most importantly, mediation allowed the family, not the courts, to make a joint decision. A court ruling could have caused irreparable damage to the family, but mediation offered a path to healing. It brought new perspectives to everyone involved and helped each family member understand the others’ circumstances. Through the process, the family began to repair their relationship.
The Power of Mediation
When the stipulation was finalized, the mother asked, “Can John still come over for special events?” The mediation team assured her that the agreement did not prevent her son from visiting. Jane was relieved to know that that the arrangement allowed him to establish boundaries to reduce conflict while also maintaining a connection with John.
“An unlawful detainer action (or an eviction) brought against a close family member can be tragic,” said Maritza Gutierrez, Chief of the Dispute Resolution & Justice Initiatives Division at the Los Angeles Department of Consumer and Business Affairs (DCBA). “This case highlights the profound strain that family conflicts can place on everyone involved, especially when health issues and long-standing relationship tensions are at play. Mediation isn’t about winning or losing, it’s about communicating, understanding and choosing a better way forward together.”
Learn More About Free Mediation Services
During National Mediation Week, DCBA encourages residents to explore the County’s free, confidential mediation services. The Dispute Resolution Program helps families, neighbors, landlords, and tenants resolve disputes before they escalate. For more information or to request mediation, visit DCBA’s Dispute Resolution Services page or contact us at (800) 593-8222.
*Names and identifying details in this story have been changed to protect the family’s privacy.
